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My children, Ubaid (6 years old) and Uwais (3 years old) have reached the level where they would argue with each other about almost anything. They are now driving one another crazy and it often makes me and my wife crazy.  Therefore, when people ask do I want another child, I would just say NO at the moment. These two are enough for now. No need to add more stress.  Don't get me wrong. I love my children and of course, there are sweet moments between them two. But whenever they fight, gosh, they can be so loud that it gives me headaches.  Then, when I say NO to having more kids, many would jokingly tell me that I should try having a girl. I now have two boys, so I should strive to get a girl now.  Truthfully, I do want a baby girl. I do want to dress a baby up with cute dresses and girly things. I know my wife would also welcome some girl company in the house. Furthermore, our friend Yaya just delivered a baby girl a few weeks back and now having ...

The sun is rising and my heart grows heavier by the minute. Soon, the grey and darkness will turn to colors and the living rise from their slumber.  I wish the sun would just halt. Please Mr Sun, wait a bit longer. I yearn for more silence.  Early mornings are my favorite time of the day. When I say, I meant very very early. Everyday, I set 3 alarms. 4.15 am, 5.00 am and 5.40 am.  I don't always rise up at 4.15 am. Usually, when the first alarm cries, I would dismiss it. The first one is just to prepare me for the real awakening.  Then, when the next one rings, I would wake up and then do whatever I want to do without any worries.  I guess that's why these early mornings are my favorite. My wife and kids would be sleeping. My colleagues, bosses and students would still be sleeping. No one would disturb me.  I would use that time to watch Youtube videos, write blog posts like this, answer surveys on GameTame or simply just browse ...

Today, as soon as I reached the office, I noticed that I was not wearing a belt. Luckily my pants were tight enough that they didn't fall down.  I also didn't brush my teeth because I just got back from my in laws last night and didn't have time to unpack my toothbrush.  My hair is now a mess and my face needs shaving.  I am a freakin' mess.  However, I managed to get my kid ready for school and I reached work on time so that is what really matters.  Right?  I don't know.  As the title says, I feel like I am stuck in the middle. The middle of what, you might ask. Well, the middle of everything.  I don't really care about how I look but at the same time I kinda don't want to look like a homeless person.  I want and try to do good stuff but yeah, I am also a little bit naughty and a truant.  I want to finish up some personal projects but I am so distracted by other things.  I have to ...

Hi peeps. Just got to get stuff out of my chest. Lately, I have been feeling not as fine as usual. Usually, I would be able to say to myself that I like the way I am and I am comfortable in my own skin. Welp, lately, I am having trouble believing those words. I might be feeling a bit depressed. Work and the sacrifices of being a husband and father are putting a toll on me. I found myself delaying my work a lot and it is unhealthy. It is like I am sabotaging myself. I am also always tired. Sometimes I feel tired for no reason. That's the main reason why I feel that I am depressed. It's like there is a huge burden on my shoulders and I am carrying it around everywhere I go, all the time. Plus, I don't really have friends. I have been doing some reading about depression and I found that it is linked to many suicide cases. I think people who are close to me know that I am depressed as I am not really trying to hide it. Sometimes it is obvious to see. People keep co...

After finally being able to take out both my 5 year old and 2 year old of the car, we made our way from the parking lot into the McDonald's at Ipoh only to be greeted by a huge crowd inside. Seeing the lack of vacant tables and long lines at the counter, I contemplated my decision to eat there. But, fast food is the easiest meal that I could get given that I was handling two small kids and I was already there, therefore I braved myself to queue. Ubaid the 5 year old was beside me holding my left hand and my right hand was holding the 2 year old Uwais.  After a few minutes, the boys started to get restless as they really wanted to go and play in the McDonald's play pen. But I wasn't willing to let them play without any supervision as it's very easy to lose a child in such a crowded place.  Then, the most memorable thing happened. A McDonald's staff approached me and told me that I could cut the queue and order from her. She was Indian and seemed quite ...

Hari Isnin yang lepas, seorang kenalan (fellow KBM TESLian & an English lecturer at Politeknik Merlimau) telah meninggal dunia. Saya tidak begitu mengenali beliau. Kenal kenal macam tu je, tak pernah berkawan. Tapi sepanjang hari, timeline di Facebook saya dipenuhi dengan puji-pujian kepada arwah Hamdi. Ramai menyatakan yang arwah seorang yang baik, sangat suka menolong orang lain, banyak memberikan semangat di kala orang lain berduka dan seorang yang periang dan gembira. Dari mula menerima berita kematian beliau hinggalah sekarang, masih lagi ada orang memuji sifat beliau dan bersedih di atas pemergian yang mengejut. It makes me think. Ia buat saya berfikir. Tidak henti saya berfikir. Bila tiba masanya saya pergi selamanya nanti, adakah orang akan berbuat demikian terhadap saya? Adakah orang ramai akan memuji sifat saya, dengan ikhlasnya merindui dan menyedekahkan al-Fatihah kepada saya? Hati jadi tidak tenang memikirkannya. Rasa risau. Risau kerana kawan-kawan say...

Your baby will fall, knock his head on something, have bruises, cuts & etc The last thing I wanna do is physically hurt our baby. But these stuff just happen no matter how careful I've been. Ubaid had fallen from the bed a few times, accidentally bumped his head against the wall, cut his lips, and etc.  I always feel bad & guilty whenever he's hurt. The scary thing is how he doesn't understand that he can get hurt.  Other people think they can name your kid better. "Hey, Fahmi. What's your boy's name?" Muhammad Ubaid.  "Ubaid? Why not Ubaidillah? or Zack? or Afro? or Muhammad Danish Polish Swedish?" My wife and I named him Muhammad Ubaid because my mother in law likes the name Ubaid so much. Yes, we are aware that the meaning of Ubaid is slave (hamba)... but Ubaid is also a name of sahabat Nabi Muhammad. We did our research already, man. So quit modifying our kid's name, bro. Ubaid is a sweet name.  No...

As you read this, just bear in mind that everything I write is based on my own opinion. This is a personal blog, so every post is personal. Personal views, personal opinions which are based on what I've read & seen.  Okey now. One of the hot issues in Malaysia right now is the issue of boycotting companies that have been financially supporting Israel in their military terror against Gaza civilians. Among the companies that are supposed to be boycotted are McDonald's, Starbucks, Tesco & Loreal.  Throughout this week, I've seen pictures of people giving speeches in front of McDonald's, people wearing ski masks displaying SAVE GAZA! BOIKOT ISRAEL!! banners just outside McDonald's & people posting pictures of other people eating McDonald's online. I also read tweets mentioning a Starbuck's employee was beaten for refusing to quit his job, McDonald's staff members were harassed & spit on.  PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!!!  What t...

The toilet, for me, is a peaceful place.  Yeah yeah yeah, I know. The toilet is a shitty place... literally & figuratively. But it's also a place of solitude for introvert me. I'm not sure whether other fellow introverts feel the same but I think we all have that one quiet lonely place to hide.  Sometimes when socializing is too much of a burden for me, I hide in a toilet cubicle.  I started hiding in toilets when I started my teaching practicum a few years ago. I just couldn't stand being in the teacher's room because all of the senior teachers looked at me condescendingly... or maybe it was just me. There was no other place for me to be in order to escape those people, therefore I hid myself in a toilet. Since then, I keep hiding and hiding in toilets. Sometimes I hide for more than an hour.  When hiding, I will sleep if I can, play games on my phone, read eBooks. I think I finished a quarter of A Storm of Swords in a toilet. It's pathetic...

Despite my introversion, I used to think of myself as a very polite person. Though I lack words, I often smile at most people.  That was until my wife gave me a sort of wake up call one day.  We just finished having lunch at Hotel UiTM's restaurant and was walking through the lobby towards our parked car. Suddenly, a stranger, a guy maybe in his 40s approached me.  He asked, "Ni lecturer UiTM eh?"  I slowed down my walking pace but didn't stop. In a brief moment, I smiled, answered, "Tak, lecturer poli..." & walked away.  Wifey snapped.  She scolded me quietly, "That was so rude!"  At first, I thought she was referring to the guy because he didn't even say Hi before asking me the question.  She then told me that if a person is trying to talk to you, you have to stop whatever you're doing and treat him/her with respect.  So, yeah, that day I found out that I am a little bit of a douche bag. Not so po...

Sometimes we notice when people are staring at us... If that sense could be trained, honed to its maximum potential, we would be able to detect snipers from afar.  Sometimes we say the things that we never meant to say out loud. We wanted to just think about it but the words just accidentally come out from our mouths... What if the same case could happen with actions? For instance, we intended to punch someone in the throat only in our heads but we end up punching him/her in the throat for real. What if we're seeing different colors but we call them by the same name? Things that are blue for my eyes could be green in your eyes... but because we can't literally see things from other people's eyes, we never knew that we're seeing different colors. Can babies understand each other's speech?  I wonder how humans discovered rice...  I wonder if there's a mind reader out there... Better not think about ridiculous stuff. Just in case.  ...

Almost every week, I take a bus to Kajang on Thursday night to be with my wifey & baby Ubaid at Cheras & then head back to Dungun also by bus on Saturday night. This travelling thing has been sort of a routine for me but I'm not here to tell you about that.  I'm here to tell you about how some people (particularly strangers) can be really really creepy.  Taking a bus to Dungun yesterday night, I arrived at Paka at around 3.30 am today. As usual, I got off the bus at a bus stop near Simpang Santung.  Though the bus stop is just beside the main road, it's quite lonely during this kind of hour. The nearest light sources were from a row of shops behind it & some lamp posts about 700 meters away. It was not dark, but quite dim. Bak kata orang, lighting dia agak romantik la... My house is located around 30 minutes away from that bus stop, so I had to wait for a while for my dad to fetch me.  As I was waiting, I noticed there was someone wat...

About some time ago, wifey & I were out dating at Jusco Cheras Selatan... Well, we're not actually dating. We were out buying groceries... Well, during that, as we were descending from first to ground floor of the building via escalator, I saw a mother trying hard to calm her wailing child... The girl cried so loud, glasses were shattering (exaggeration)...  Anyway, having short attention span, I only cared about it for about half a minute before I shifted my thoughts to something else - what to eat, ya? But my eyes were still locked on the mother & child... Wifey seemed to notice that and said,  "Don't stare... Don't pressure the mother..."  So I looked else where...  I guess it takes a mother to know how other mothers feel...  Don't pressure the mother. Don't judge too easily... It's tough to take care of a child. It's even tougher to take care of more than one child...  Children are not adults. They don't und...

You heard your mom calling from downstairs... When you're about to go down, your mom appeared & said, "Don't go! I heard it too..."  I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed...” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy, there’s somebody on my bed...” Your reflection in the mirror blinked...  You're tired. You just got home from work... You reach for the light switch. Another hand is already there. The last man on earth sat on a couch in his house... Then, he heard a knock on his door. Don't be scared of monsters... Look for them. Look in your closet, look under your bed, look for them everywhere... But don't look up. She hates being seen.  There's a picture of me sleeping in my cellphone... I live alone.  That person keeps staring at me through my window. Smiling. I live on th...

I often tell wifey how brilliant it would be if all vehicles are equipped with mics and speakers... So, instead of just honking at each other, drivers could just yell through those mics...  This idea came when I was in a car & other drivers started to flash their headlights... It made me nervous because I didn't know what they were trying to tell me... "Is there a roadblock ahead? Is there an accident?"  So, I thought, it'll be easier if they could just tell me what's in front using microphones... "ROADBLOCK KAT DEPAN HOI! KALAU ROADTAX MATI, PATAH BALIK!!"  Just imagine how convenient it would be...  When there's a slow driver on the fast lane & you're in a rush, you can just yell through those speakers, "HOI, KURA2!! KE TEPI LA BODOH!!!" instead of giving them the high beam...  and the slow driver could reply, "JAP! JAP! ADA KANCIL KAT DEPAN AKU NI TAKNAK KE TEPI!"  Then, if you're just b...

After the success of Upin & Ipin, I've seen so many new local children series making their ways into the hearts of Malaysian kids... Among other popular ones are Bola Kampung & Boboi Boy...  I sometimes wonder what Ubaid will grow up watching... Most probably one of the locals...  It was kinda different for me when I was growing up... Yeah, we did have a few local shows like Keluang Man & Yokies, but most were foreign...  I grew up watching Sesame Street, Barney the Dinosaur, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Doraemon, Tomato Man, Jetman, Flashman, Gaban & other classics... Ahhh... Those were the good ol' days...  Though having local animation industry developing so much is very good to see, I would like Ubaid to grow up watching foreign shows like Sesame Street & Barney...  It's not that I feel local shows aren't good enough... In fact, I did watch them sometimes & they're great! They're hilarious...  It's j...

Last two weeks, on my way home from work, I stopped by a 7Eleven store at Paka to buy a Ribena drink... I love Ribena... After I bought my Ribena, I went out of the store & headed straight to my car which was parked about 5 meters from the store...  Suddenly, a stranger wearing grey t-shirt & camo pants came to my side & greeted me like he was a friend...  "Hey, lama tak nampak??"  He got really close & patted my back...  Being mistrustful, I put a distance between us by facing him & stepping back a bit... I put up a smile while I studied his looks... He had a stubble of dark & grey needles for hair... His head was almost bald & greying. I judged that he's in his mid forties... Damn, almost everything about him was grey...  Within seconds, I decided that I didn't know him & walked away, leaving him just like that, without saying a word... I got into my car, locked the doors & quickly drove away... Yeah...

Masks are used in movies to hide identities, disfigurements or plainly to look badass... Whatever the reasons are, many masks used in movies are now so iconic & cool... Here are some of my favorite masks in movies! Leatherface Whether they're from the remakes or original, masks made of human skins are freaky!! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) Jason Voorhess One of the most favorite horror masks in the movie world! A hockey mask looks ordinary unless worn by chainsaw wielding Jason! Friday the 13th (franchise)  Ghostface If you see a person wearing this mask while holding a knife, you better SCREAM! Scream (franchise) Jigsaw Seriously, would you want to play a game with a person wearing this mask? Saw (franchise) Smiley ...